Saturday, March 28, 2015

My Secrets.

Ain't telling 'ya.

Two key mysteries in my life right now:
(1) Who could be my soulmate,
(2) What is my greatest dream.

It's between me and God and nobody else.

The wayward and tenacious strands in me are my strengths, yet also the bane of my existence.

I have immense fear in me, that despicable fear.

Can't live with it, can't live without it, can only domesticate this little abominable, superficial monster.

(依 41:10)
He said: "Do not fear, for I am with you.."
(Isaiah 41:10)

With Him, all is enough for this little drop in the vast ocean.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

It Gets Scary.

It gets scary when you try to make changes in your life.
You're scared if you'll lose your friends.
You're scared if you'll get criticised.
There'll always be those wretched still moments when you don't know whether they accept or reject you.
If they accept you, you'll heave a big sigh of relief.
If they don't, you'll brace yourself for the gunfire.
Or the resulting deafening silence, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.
But oh the adrenaline rush when you're going after what you're meant to do!
That happiness in your heart that makes you literally fly.
And smile all day long =)

If only you get past that fear in the first place.
If only you could just focus and thrive on doing what matters most.
Instead of what's comfortable.

Saturday, March 21, 2015



It's hard not to envy him, for all the obvious reasons.
Everything about him is so perfect, gosh!
But what inspires me most now is his passion for what he is doing.


And so I thought to myself.
I seriously envy that level of passion, the kind where money and fame are not the exact priorities, but rather the work, the journey and the sharings that matter so much more.
So. much. more.

我很喜欢那一种的投入,that kind of dedication to and commitment in work that he so much believes in. I feel all those in me too, but there is still something stopping me from leaping.. 就是那该死的恐惧。还需要时间放下一些人事物,还有心里头的包袱,it's tough but my whole being does feel much, much lighter now (praise the Lord!).



Monday, March 16, 2015

The Beginning Of Beginnings.

Almost 3 years ago, I wrote about the beginning of the end of a life lived in self-created worthlessness.

What I didn't expect was that the end was going to take years to finally reach the real end =.=

Or maybe it had reached the end of the end but I was too busy relishing in the beginning of beginnings to realize it hehe.

Either way, I am contented to say that at this very moment, I am very much happy to be.. me =)

I still have personal downsides that I ain't very proud of, but I don't brood over them as much anymore. Like what I saw in a friend's Instagram today:

There's no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.

I think the real definition of perfection is not something that is without flaws.
I think the real definition of perfection is something that is flawed, yet at the same time that something is not that flawed.

Deep huh.
Something like yin and yang, a plus and a minus, all in that something.

I'd like to think of life as a journey of discoveries, self-discovery especially.
I'd like to also think that more often than not, the good and the bad is a matter of perception, a sign that the balance has been tipped and wise, opportune solutions are to be seeked and fulfilled.

I continue to believe everything happens for reasons that we most probably do not know now and most likely will not know for quite some time.

Timing is everything.
In God's time, all will be revealed, one after another.
Faith is key.

Here's to the beginning of beginnings.