You exist outside of time..
I found this phrase in a prayer.
A prayer for my future husband to be exact, as well as for our children-to-be.
Despite, or more accurately, because I'm still very much single now.
What would it be like to exist outside of time?
I've had this blatant disregard for time for as long as I can remember. A well-known, longtime procrastinator among my closest of friends, I'm almost always late and it takes me forever to get things done most of the time. For no apparent reason, at certain points in time, from time to time, I find that time seem to stretch on and on..
Until it's too late for me to realize that I had once again taken time for granted.
When I read what JJ Lin wrote in a post about time some time ago, frankly speaking.. I didn't quite get what he meant, even though I left seemingly irrelevant comments in a vain attempt to sound wise and knowledgeable.
I've never questioned the existence of time. To me, time has always been one of those things that are always there, things that I presumed that I can't possibly alter or exert my influence on.
Thus the blatant disregard, I suppose.
Perhaps it's due to this kinda outrageous short-sightedness that I've abhorredly ignored many integral parts of my life for the longest time, only to have successions of rude awakenings as the side effects surface in later years.
Rather challenging in making myself face all of them, I tell you.
But I've never felt more alive.
So this thing called time, how do I see it now?
The mere existence of time, the mere act of living within the constraints of time, demands great levels of patience and gratitude, wisdom and faith from each being.
Especially beings like me, repressed beings who have been numbed by years of suppressing our real passions, emotions and desires.
In taking things one step at a time.
In waiting for things to take place in time when enough has been done within a period of time.
In appreciating from time to time all the good and all the bad, all the acceptable and all the unacceptable.
Time, in addition to being measured in order to facilitate decision-making and efficiency, is in itself a system of measurement that determines the order of events, planned or unplanned. As if everything in life has already been laid out bit by bit, piece by piece, waiting only for its turn to appear.. In other words, had we existed outside of time, we could probably see all the events in our lives, or all the events in the world, or even all the events in the universe, without having to wait for them to take place.
All questions would immediately be answered with just a glance.
Fascinatingly incomprehensible, something that I would want to explore deeper with more patience without losing my mind.
Something that I believe only God has all the answers.
That said, Interstellar succeeded in completely distorting my perception of time.
That it's entirely possible for us to exist in different continuums of time in parallel.
That time is not as definite as I thought it was, probably not as infinite too.
Gosh, this is really too much to take.
In my first Interstellar post, I described this dazed, floaty state I was in when I came out of the cinema after watching the movie. I attribute most of it to this, little, crash course on the indefiniteness of time.
A question begs to be answered: Why do we exist within the constraints of time when it's possible to exist outside of time?
What JJ Lin wrote about us being the keepers of our precious, limited time here on earth may have the answer.
Because of time, everything has a limit. Every person becomes precious. Every moment earns its value, and life earns its purpose.
I'll leave it at that for now.