Sunday, January 25, 2015

Interstellar: Time.

You exist outside of time..

I found this phrase in a prayer.
A prayer for my future husband to be exact, as well as for our children-to-be.
Despite, or more accurately, because I'm still very much single now.

What would it be like to exist outside of time?

I've had this blatant disregard for time for as long as I can remember. A well-known, longtime procrastinator among my closest of friends, I'm almost always late and it takes me forever to get things done most of the time. For no apparent reason, at certain points in time, from time to time, I find that time seem to stretch on and on..

Until it's too late for me to realize that I had once again taken time for granted.

When I read what JJ Lin wrote in a post about time some time ago, frankly speaking.. I didn't quite get what he meant, even though I left seemingly irrelevant comments in a vain attempt to sound wise and knowledgeable.

I've never questioned the existence of time. To me, time has always been one of those things that are always there, things that I presumed that I can't possibly alter or exert my influence on.
Thus the blatant disregard, I suppose.

Perhaps it's due to this kinda outrageous short-sightedness that I've abhorredly ignored many integral parts of my life for the longest time, only to have successions of rude awakenings as the side effects surface in later years.
Rather challenging in making myself face all of them, I tell you.
But I've never felt more alive.

So this thing called time, how do I see it now?

The mere existence of time, the mere act of living within the constraints of time, demands great levels of patience and gratitude, wisdom and faith from each being.
Especially beings like me, repressed beings who have been numbed by years of suppressing our real passions, emotions and desires.

In taking things one step at a time.
In waiting for things to take place in time when enough has been done within a period of time.
In appreciating from time to time all the good and all the bad, all the acceptable and all the unacceptable.

Time, in addition to being measured in order to facilitate decision-making and efficiency, is in itself a system of measurement that determines the order of events, planned or unplanned. As if everything in life has already been laid out bit by bit, piece by piece, waiting only for its turn to appear.. In other words, had we existed outside of time, we could probably see all the events in our lives, or all the events in the world, or even all the events in the universe, without having to wait for them to take place.
All questions would immediately be answered with just a glance.

Fascinatingly incomprehensible, something that I would want to explore deeper with more patience without losing my mind.
Something that I believe only God has all the answers.

That said, Interstellar succeeded in completely distorting my perception of time.
That it's entirely possible for us to exist in different continuums of time in parallel.
That time is not as definite as I thought it was, probably not as infinite too.

Gosh, this is really too much to take.
In my first Interstellar post, I described this dazed, floaty state I was in when I came out of the cinema after watching the movie. I attribute most of it to this, little, crash course on the indefiniteness of time.

A question begs to be answered: Why do we exist within the constraints of time when it's possible to exist outside of time?

What JJ Lin wrote about us being the keepers of our precious, limited time here on earth may have the answer.

Because of time, everything has a limit. Every person becomes precious. Every moment earns its value, and life earns its purpose.

I'll leave it at that for now.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Temporary.
短暂。

打包晚餐回来的时候,突然有一个直觉。
这直觉告诉我说,我现在所拥有的一切是短暂的。
我未来的生活,或许五年后甚至是这两年内,会有很大的变化。
跟现在的生活完全不一样,感觉好像现在的生活将彻底的被推翻。

非常的莫名其妙难以理解,但那感觉很强很肯定。

竟然如此,我更加要好好的珍惜我现在所拥有的一切。
所有的人,事,物,特别是我的家人,我的同事,我的朋友。。还有现在的我。
在珍惜的当儿也是时候清理和清走我生命中所有已经「过期」的人,事,物。
好好的准备自己去接受及面对未来生活所有的幸福和挑战。
有很多东西都没办法带走也不应该一直留着。

我也决定让我自己相信一件不太,不,是完全不可能的事情。
勇敢的相信。
我翻了圣经好多次,十次九次都跟我说「是」或类似的答案。
满满的怀疑但又很想相信的执著让我很累很烦。
没那么复杂的事越想越复杂。
不敢相信也是因为怕失望,可是失望又怎样?
我真的不想再错过。。真的很不想。

因此我就这么决定了,而且要更加努力做好自己。
当这件事实现了,我的生活的的确确会更不一样。
所以更加要准备好自己!

现在的我为未来的我努力和加油!