Tuesday, August 5, 2014

一步一脚印。
One Step At A Time。

2014年的7月走了,现在迈入8月。
2014年的下半年正式进入第二个月。
还有五个月就是2015年。
2014's July went away, now August's here.
The second half of 2014's officially into its second month.
Five more months and it'll be 2015.

外面有只猫头鹰在咕咕的叫。。
There's an owl hooting outside..

7月过的稍微有点压力。
这点儿压力也是因为本人终于肯认真踏实的学习面对本人知道本人该有的责任。
没有什么很复杂的东西,只有一颗不太愿意改变的心却同时很清楚知道改变是必然的。
My July was a little stressful.
I was finally willing to seriously, earnestly learn to face the responsibilities that I know I should have.
Nothing complicated, just a heart that is reluctant to change yet at the same time this heart very clearly knows that change is eventual.

这一次的改变过程是刻意缓慢的,边学边思考边说服自己。
绝对不是100%成功的,但成功的那几次有令本人对自己另眼相看。
这种对自己温柔既坦诚的肯定惟有自己给得了自己。
This time, the change is of deliberate gradualness, part learning, part contemplation, part self-persuasion.
Definitely not 100% successful, but for all the times that it did, I gained respect for myself.
This kind of gentle and frank acknowledgement can only come from my own very self.

我现在才真正确认我一直以来确实非常在意他人眼中里的我。
每每达不到他人的要求的时候,我其实非常自责,难过,痛苦。。
每一次都搞到连最后一股最微小的自信心都没了。
Only now I truly acknowledge that all this while I honestly do mind how others perceive me.
Very often when I failed to meet expectations, I actually blamed myself a lot, gave myself a whole lot of a hard time, sinking deeper into misery each time..
Losing that last tiny bit of confidence every. single. time.

从头到尾都在逃避。
Avoiding and running away from everything all the time.

现在的我渐渐看到没被自己发觉到的自己。
这件事也只有我才能为我自己做。
这,对我未来的成长,涵盖重大的意义。
Now I gradually see the me that I never did see before.
This is also something that only me can do for myself.
It has huge, significant meaning for my future personal growth.

我也发现,我在文字里更加认识自己,接受自己。
这一半也是亏自己多年来参与不同的场合,接触不同的人事物,不断的阅读自己非常感兴趣有关人性的文章。
没有很一致,所以才花了这么长的时间。
I also realize that I've gotten to know and accept myself more through writing.
I am partly thankful to myself for my own initiative to join different kinds of events all these years, getting to know different kinds of people and things, tirelessly reading up articles on my favourite subject, human nature.
Not very consistent though, that's why it took me so long.

当然,要感恩的人事物有很多,很多。
我并没有忘记,也没觉得不重要。
我的重点是,内心深处真正的自己是长长被忽略的那一个。
Of course, there are many, many people and things that I'm thankful for.
I have not forgotten, nor do I feel that it is of any less importance.
My emphasis is, the real, most inner self is often the most neglected one.

一步一脚印的走我生命的这一个阶段让我觉得很踏实,很充实。
我仍然不完美,仍然会犯错,会生气,会孤僻 =.=
但现在我看到自己的美,接受自己的不完美。。
也因为这样我开始看到你的美,渐渐学习接受你的不完美。
Living the current chapter of my life one step at a time gives me more satisfaction and sense of achievement than ever before.
I'm still not perfect, making mistakes here and there every now and then, getting angry over the littlest thing, staying true to my eccentric self =.=
But now I see my strengths and accept my imperfections..
And because of that, I begin to see your strengths and gradually learn to accept your imperfections too.