This has been a persistent, recurring theme since the beginning of the year.
First it was a friend. Then there were the personal growth sites. Speakers at a recent book fair were next and today, my siblings. If words were arrows, I could have died. Serious.
I'm one of those common uncommon people that think too much and do too little. If any.
Why wouldn't I "just do it"?
Let's see. Fears, check. Perfectionism, check. Procrastination, check.
I just googled, the next P would be for PARALYSIS. Not something I would deny, in fact, it's a far more familiar theme than the title itself. But the nagging feeling that something was amiss was always there no matter how hard I consciously or unconsciously continued to numb myself, telling myself that I was happy with my life. That I was satisfied with what I have.
An empty shell, to be exact. No one can ever be happy or satisfied with an unfulfilling life.. Who was I trying to kid???
Oh yeah, me.
So what am I going to do now?
No way am I going to tell anyone what am I up to anymore. After several failed attempts to act after declaring my, uh, aspirations to the world, I've come to the conclusion that one advice doesn't really fit all. I've had friends, a good friend's sister even, asking me what happened to a particular ambitious dream of mine, to which I just smiled and shrugged off with the plainest of answers, "I've given up."
Astonishingly p-a-t-h-e-t-i-c. Unbelievably D-I-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-I-N-G.
Plus, the more people posed me questions, the faster I gave up. There are reasons (or excuses, if you must) why, of course, but the main thing was because I was very, very unsure of myself. Still, I shouldn't have given up so easily.
For so many times summor!
But that's me. And thus, with all those, ahem, wisdom in mind, I've decided to keep mum on what I'm going to do next. If anyone out there actually do care, just be patient and understanding with me, that's all I ask.
Or, just ignore me.
(until I come and bug you till the cows come home for any particular reason whatsoever)