Monday, November 9, 2009

I Hear Christmas Already.

Christmas lights..
courtesy of FreeFoto.com

I think it was the last Wednesday morning of the previous month, I was going about my work diligently (ahem, am using this term rather loosely... ahem...) when the familiar polyphonic Christmas tunes from the Chrismas tree four-coloured running lights back at the home in hometown suddenly started playing at the back of my mind. I was immediately brought back to the night scene of the dimly lit Christmas tree in the living room...

Back home, for the few years before I came to the big city to, uh, work (gave up on most of the rest of the reasons already, sigh...), I assigned myself to the task of decorating the Christmas tree at home, a task which I actually reveled in. *blush*

And on some nights, I would switch off the living room lights, leaving just the Christmas tree running lights on, with the lights' polyphonic Christmas tunes playing softly while I lay myself on one of the living room sofas, my mind occasionally drifting to that Christmas scene some 2000 years ago where it all began...

Oh, how I miss the tranquility...

Man... Made me miss celebrating Christmas at home even more... T_T

I miss going for Christmas carolling... I miss the annual Christmas procession... I miss the Christmas masses, especially the grand hallelujah song... Oh, the nostalgia...

Everything is so different and strange here in the big city. I don't think I'll ever adapt to the way things are organized here... I really do feel so out of place, most of the time...

Perhaps I should make it a point to go back for Christmas every year too...

Or just go back for real.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Bucket List.

Almost ended up with The Budget List as the title. Talk about frugality. >.<

A movie I came across in JoMel's blog. I'm not too good with summaries... Well, in conclusion, it's a movie about two dying men fulfilling their last wishes.

It's not as awful as I made it sound. Honest.

In fact, I loved it. I laughed and cried with it. The sarcastic and witty exchanges captured my heart so much that I laughed out loud, as did the underlying message of the movie manage to squeeze the tears out of me.

Okay, I wasn't exactly hysterical or sobbing, but I really loved the movie. =)

One question that struck out to me, the very question that compelled me to blog about this movie right after I watched it... Given the choice, would I want to know the very time and day, or even just the very month or year, that I would die?

No.

Ask me the same question few years back, I'd have offered a totally different reply.

Guess I'm just scared that the fear of death would rob me of the joy of living (not that I'm a joyous person by nature, but still...) if I were to know. I do realize that there's actually nothing to fear about death anyway anyhow, after all, it's something everyone faces eventually, young or old. But somehow, I can't really deny that I fear it.

I used to think that I could deal with death anytime, the what's-the-big-deal kind of attitude. Nothing significant happened to change my thinking (at least none that I could recall of...), except the fact that I sort of slowly grew up. It's a byproduct of growing older for me, I guess.

Or perhaps it's just a matter of refusing to know too much. As the saying goes, ignorance is, well, bliss. So to speak.

Maybe I'll change my mind again. *shrug*

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I'm staring at the computer clock ticking away, yet I'm still here typing away. This is going to hurt so much when I wake up 4 1/2 hours later for mass. I am so going to fall asleep during mass again. @.@

But I'm still getting myself a watch.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

On A Lazy Saturday Afternoon...

I always run out of things to blog when I'm right in front of this clean Edit Post page. *left hand holding chin, right hand drumming fingers on the keyboard*

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Here I am, all alone in the house, savouring all the peace this quietness has to offer. It's a great feeling, this feeling of being all with myself at home.

In a few hours the skies would darken. In fact, it already has, with the sun hiding behind hovering grey clouds. A gentle breeze is blowing outside, tree branches swaying in accordance with the wind's soft touch.

It's a whole different feeling all together, the day bathed in sunlight, and the night hidden from its rays. One gives the feeling of hope, where time seems to stretch into oblivion, as if there's time for everything; the other signals an ending, where the day seems to end one second too soon, and it's time to tidy up, rest and be prepared to face another day.

It is on afternoons like this that I tend to sit quietly in my chair and watch some movies or dramas, or just do nothing. Of which I would regret later for not using the time to tie off loads of loose ends, i.e. work, personal matters, plans, etc... Oh well, I'm learning to take it one at a time while crossing my fingers and telling myself that it's a good thing. >.<

There are a lot of things on my mind. There always have been, after all, I'm the type that thinks too much for my own good. For anyone's good, for that matter. >.< I'm tempted to blog them all out right here and now.

*struck by the blue screen of death*

I hate Windows Vista.

I also hate Internet Explorer 7. Never bothers to automatically save my opened tabs for me. #@!&#$^&@!!!

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It's a sign. *dramatic background music*

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I want to get myself a watch.